My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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