white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
false alarm. still invincible.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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