i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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