Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So many bounce houses so little time
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
