I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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