I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Come on in and take your pants off
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