grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
