We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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