I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
