do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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