i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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