Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize