Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
