I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
