Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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