booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
