Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
