So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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