she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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