'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
