yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
