so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need a burrito and a hug.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
