brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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