the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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