Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
