She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
