More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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