If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
