Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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