Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
