dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
