stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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