she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize