oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
