White coat. Heels.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
