Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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