I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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