He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
