He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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