That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
