I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
