i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
