D3 body, D1 cock
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
