...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
