I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
