woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
wow bdsm is so cute
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