Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
