hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i came on her dog
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
