You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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