You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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