i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
