I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
