I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
