Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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