I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
