doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
