I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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