No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
