And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize